My hope is built on nothing less

Cornerstone

My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus’ blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
but wholly trust in Jesus’ name

Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong, in the Savior’s love
Through the storm
He is Lord, Lord of All

This is the first verse and chorus of the song “Cornerstone” off the new Hillsong album. I listened today while I mopped the floor, enjoying the familiar words of the verses and my heart agreeing as we got to the chorus. There are so many different things to love about worship music, and about worshiping Jesus. One of those things is how when we sing the words we are reminded of what is truly true. We live in such a fallen broken world that sometimes we lose sight of truth. Being reminded increases our faith and I believe actually changes us. I have felt so broken by the unresolved things around me. People that I love hurting, sick, broken. I am drawn today by hope. He is the hope of all the brokeness that I can ever see or feel. Christ alone.

When darkness seems to hide His face
I rest on His unchanging grace
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil

Then He shall come with trumpets sound
Oh, may I then in Him be found
Dressed in His righteousness alone
faultless, stand before the throne

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 



We should…. make POPCORN!!! (Thoughts on obedience Pt 1)

A few weeks ago we had a playdate with some dear friends. While the girls played outside my friend and I chatted. As I watched, Ellie went up to her friend and snatched the toy shopping cart she was playing with from her. I quickly separated Ellie from her prize and we moved aside for a chat. After we talked it through I asked Ellie “What should we do now?” indicating that this is where we go and apologize to our friend for taking a toy from her. Ellie looked and me with big brown eyes and said “We should…  make POPCORN!!!”

I think sometimes I do this to God. When He is bringing direction or correction in my life and asking “What should you do now?”  I, instead of responding in obedience to what He has instructed, respond with “let’s do something awesome!”. Avoiding obedience with an offer of sacrifice.

I am reminded this morning of how God prizes obedience more than awesome things. Sometimes it’s easier to give Him a “sacrifice” of an action than it is to simply obey His commands, and in doing so giving Him my heart. In Matthew 22 Jesus says:

“You must love the LORD your God with all your heart , all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ “
 

In my life this avoidance has looked like a lot of different things. Perhaps clinging to an offense towards someone and offering a sacrifice of reading my Bible instead of addressing my heart problem. Perhaps giving my child kisses instead of apologizing. Making my husband a nice dinner when I have been in the wrong instead of repenting to him.

Often heart problems aren’t visible on the outside but how my Jesus sees my heart! How He requires honesty in the inward parts! As a parent I daily ask my children to “listen and obey” and am constantly trying to address the heart of obedience. How much more does Jesus ask me to listen and obey. In my heart? I’m finding that loving Him with all my heart, soul and mind is a daily choice. A moment by moment choice.

Much the way a marriage works. On your wedding day you vow to love each other as long as you both shall live and you are MARRIED.  But truly real marriage is walked out every day as you continually moment by moment chose to honor and cherish each other.

Thank You Jesus for always seeing our hearts. Thank You for always calling us to obey and walk in truth! Today we choose again to love You with all that we are and have.

 



Extreme Commitment Update

It’s been a month since I embarked on Professor Horner’s Bible reading plan and I am reporting back as promised. (original post) In a perfect world I would be telling you that I hadn’t missed a day of reading my 10 chapters and that I had found that amount of reading to be inadequate and had bumped it to 20 chapters a day. But that would not be true. What is true is that I missed more than a few days.

However. I have loved this adventure for a few reasons. The first reason I have loved it is the variety of scripture. Reading in 10 different areas is exciting because you never get bogged down. In other systems I have tried I have struggled to keep up in some of the harder portions of scripture. In Professor Horner’s system I feel like it’s easier to keep momentum going through those areas.

The second reason I love this system is because you are reading so much and in so many different places that you start to see scripture interpreting scripture. It’s extraordinarily beautiful.

Trying this has knocked a little perfectionism out of me. Because my commitment was word saturation it helped me keep going even when I didn’t complete a days reading or missed it entirely.

My conclusion? I will carry on. I will probably continue to miss some days, but I am committed to finishing the Bible with this system. Besides, my Bible has 10 very colorful cool tab markers in it that I really like.

 



Oatmeal Pancakes

Welcome to my new blog site! Check out my “about” page to find out why I named my blog the way I did and a little bit about who I am.

Today’s post is strictly business. Serious pancake business. Quite possibly the best pancakes I’ve ever had and I feel like I can say that because the recipe came from my mom, so it’s not bragging.

We have pancakes to commemorate special days. Special days include but are not limited to: Friday mornings (Troy’s day off), Saturday mornings (if we haven’t had them Friday already and if Troy is home), occasional Sunday nights, and any other day that seems celebratory. Ellie calls them “pancakers” and will usually eat at least one if not two. I have a few rules for you if you do make these pancakes. (only in order that you may have the best experience possible with my Mother’s pancakes)

1.) Please put real butter on these pancakes. Don’t substitute margarine for the real thing. Just don’t do it.

2.) Please use real maple syrup. I’m just sayin. It’s real. It’s from trees. Don’t substitute with the fake kind.

With out further ado, I give you:

Oatmeal Pancakes (pancakers)

1 Cup Oats

1 Cup Whole wheat flour

1 tsp Baking soda

1/2 tsp Baking powder

1/4 tsp Salt

1 Tbsp Brown sugar

2 Eggs

2 Cups Buttermilk (can substitute 1 C. sour cream, 1 C. milk)

1/4 Cup Butter (melted)

Mix as you would any pancake recipe. (so many of my Mom’s recipe’s say that “mix as you would any _____ recipe” and I’m sure most people know what that means. I’m still working it out. I just mix the ingredients in the order listed unless other wise notated. Shocking, I’m sure to some.)

I have started cooking my pancakes in coconut oil and I love the light flavor it gives them

I hope you enjoy! Let me know how yours turn out.

Mom's recipe. Which originally came from Aunt Mary Jane and mutated into a special Mom recipe
"Mix as you would any such recipe"
Little pancakers cooking away in coconut oil
Yum!

 

 



Be Present.

I’m sitting on the couch with Ellie with her wild morning hair while she watches “Go Diego Go”. My world is as it should be. Troy and I got back last night from 2 whole days away. This is a big deal to me because we have never left our kids overnight since Ellie has been born (with the exception of going to the hospital to have Judah)

Catalyst!
We had the privilege of going to Catalyst West with our church staff. Catalyst is a leadership conference and we had a phenomenal line up of speakers. Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Donald Miller, Tony Hawk and Mark Burnett to name a few.  Worship was led by the North Point worship team and the Gunganater. There are few things better than watching my husband enjoy a Gungor concert.
Gungor

Though all these speakers are amazing my very favorite session was the one where Bob Goff spoke. His message was so full of hope and life. His premise was: When we are afraid we are not who God made us to be. When we are not afraid we do stuff. So simple but so powerful! The stories of his life reflect these statements and are inspiring.

As someone who has been very afraid, this message was like water to a thirsty soul. It brought the call not just of “Don’t be afraid” but “Get up and live brilliantly”.  I bought his book Love Does and am excited to read it! I’ll let you know how it is.

As I sit here and reflect over our few days away, I am reminded of how needed these times are. As someone who is a mom, a caretaker, it’s easy to be so consumed with my little world that I don’t come up for air. I have two precious little ones who need me, who I have the privilege of pouring my life into everyday.

I’m discovering however, that if I’m not intentional about feeding my spirit, if I’m not intentional about doing things that bring me life, I have nothing to pour out. Life becomes thin, narrow and exhausting. Somehow as a mama, there can be a sense of guilt for taking time away, or doing things that are just for you. I’m finding that it’s nobody’s responsibility but mine to make sure that I am getting this time. Taking this time makes me a better mom and wife.

I had this moment while we were at Catalyst after we had lunch one day where everybody headed off in different directions and I was left by myself sitting on the ground outside. I laid down in the sun and closed my eyes feeling the breeze and savoring the quiet. I had this sudden thought “I think this is the first time I have been alone in 2 years.” Sure, I have run to the grocery store while Troy watched the kids, or gone to dinner with the girls, but this felt like the first time I had been alone with nothing to do. No place to go, no one that needed me. For an introvert like me it was a little slice of heaven.

I have also noticed in my life that when I take time away from the daily routine of life my ears are a little more attuned to what Jesus might be saying. The theme for Catalyst was “Be Present” and it seemed so timely. In a day where social media can invade every part of our lives it can be easy for moments to be stolen away. I came home resolved to be more present. More attentive to the Holy Spirit. More alive in the moment.

You don’t have to go to a conference to have time to breathe or to have windows where Jesus can speak to you. It just takes intentionality. What are things that bring life to your spirit? What are things you can do to come away from your daily life and just listen – even for 15 minutes?

I am learning that I need time alone. It brings me life to flip through Better Home’s and Garden for 10 minutes in bed at night. I feel refreshed after spending time with Jesus. I am a better mom when I read books I enjoy. Time alone with my husband rejuvenates my heart. Buying a cool purse is a treat that I purpose to give myself every once in a while. And being alone with no demands makes it easier to hear whispers from my Jesus.



Pressing on.

Saturday mornings are a great time for reflecting back over the week. For me this happens with coffee and in fragmented pieces while I take care of my babies. (See my Stolen Moments post) This morning I was writing out a kind of review on how the week was. In some parts my review wasn’t great. It was one of “those” weeks where I never entirely got on top of my laundry or getting my house clean. Sigh.

 I brought these things to Jesus for review. He’s so good to me. As I lamented over the ways I’d missed it this week He reminded me of something. When I face a weakness or a failure in myself I often find myself overwhelmed by it and feeling hopeless to change.
What He showed me this morning is that the those thoughts stem from a lie. The enemy wants me to believe that weaknesses and faults are just a part of who I am. When I believe that I indeed feel hopeless to change! The truth is that Jesus has freed me from the power of sin and has given me new life. This is hope to me.

We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will live with him…
So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. 
Romans 6:6-7, 11
 So I press on. We press on. What has the enemy been telling you that you are? Who are you in Christ today? Lets choose to live today in the truth of who God calls us to be. We are His precious children, redeemed, pure, anointed, and called to live and walk with Him today.
*Also, in case you were wondering how my Extreme Commitment is going – so far so good! God’s Word is so cool. I’ll keep you posted. One thing I am loving is that since Troy and are reading the same thing everyday we are having great discussions.



Extreme commitment

Troy and I got a two-for-one coupon to Pick up Stix and packed up the babies for a post Easter Monday lunch date yesterday. Over rice and chicken I excitedly explained to him my latest great idea.

Ever heard of Professor Horner’s Bible reading plan? It’s a system of reading the Bible where you read 10 chapters a day, in ten different areas of the Bible. Cool right?  You read through the Bible in 8 months!

As I talked I could see Troy’s eyes glaze over. And then came my husband’s feet-planted-on-the-ground wisdom. “Are you really going to do this? Do you have time? What if you get behind? Is this really the season to undertake this?” and finally “you really like extreme commitments don’t you?…”

uhmmm… yes. I do. For some reason I REALLY like seeing something huge and looking it in the face and saying yes. This isn’t always a great quality because it can lead to unfinished projects and biting off more than I can chew. I have found though, if you have people to walk with, people to tackle things with, its amazing what you can accomplish. Running a marathon, spending time in Afghanistan, these are things I did while partnering with some amazing people.

As I talked this latest idea through with Troy we decided to give this system 30 days – and that we would both do it. We will reevaluate on May 10th and see if it’s working.

Here’s how it works. This morning I read Matthew 1, Genesis 1, Romans 1, 1 Thessalonians 1, Job 1, Psalm 1, Proverbs 1, Joshua 1, Isaiah 1, and Acts 1. All of these books are the first books on ten different lists. Tomorrow I will read the 2nd chapter of each of those books and so on. If I follow this, in one year I will have read through the Gospels four times, the Pentateuch twice, Paul’s letters 4-5 times, OT wisdom literature 6 times, the Psalms twice, Proverbs and Acts twelve times and OT History and the Prophetic books about 1 1/2 times.

Here is what I am aiming for: Word saturation. I need so much to have God’s word pouring over my life. I want it imprinted on my heart and coming out of my mouth over my children. I am especially excited about this system because of the broad covering of scripture you get on a daily basis.

To answer Troy’s questions.  

“Am I really going to do this?” Yes. At least for 30 days. He talked me down from vowing to do it for the rest of my life.

“Do I have time?” Yes. I believe I do. This morning it took me about 40 minutes total to finish my reading. Honestly, a little less facebook, a little less tv and a little more commitment: voila. What better way to spend my time?

“What if I get behind?” I’m keeping my goal at Word saturation. Even if I read two or three chapters a day that’s a win. If I miss a day I won’t play catch up, I will just continue the next day.

“Is this really the season for this?” Yes. If ever I needed God’s Word it’s as I learn to parent these precious little people that are my children. Now is the time.

One of the problems I have had in the past with a Bible reading system is that quiet times can get  to feel like a chore that I need to cross off my list instead of a living relationship with Jesus. As I undertake these 30 days I want to make it a priority to not just read, but to listen to what He is saying.

A few things people have recommended that use this plan:

  • Use one Bible, an actual hard copy. You will get to know your Bible inside and out
  • Read quickly not stopping to look up cross references etc.

So I’m off. If you want to join us do! Or if you have a system you have found that works for you, leave a comment and let us know.



Wild Hope

She stepped out into the cold predawn air. The horizon held the promise of a soon coming sun but Mary didn’t notice. Eyes to the ground, aching heart, compelled to be near what was left of her Savior. She quickly made her way to the tomb replaying memories in her mind. 
Life before Jesus held only darkness. Tormented by demons, Jesus had set her gloriously free. With Him her life had become a beautiful cadence of light and peace. Then it all got so crazy. Mary shivered as she remembered standing near the cross watching.
Jesus had come to her in her suffering and delivered her. Now she stood by watching him suffer. She could do nothing but offer her presence. She had hoped beyond hope that something would happen, that He wouldn’t take that dying breath – that some how He would be saved from this horrible death. But there seemed to be no help, no salvation.

Tears streamed down her face, heart crumbling as they laid him in a tomb. All hope was gone.

As Mary neared the tomb she saw the stone rolled away and felt her heart sink further. Someone had taken His body away, taking all she had left of Him. Mary stood there weeping. Tears of despair, tears of loss, tears of longing. 

John 20:14-18
She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus, but she didn’t recognize him. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” Jesus asked her. “Who are you looking for?”

She thought he was the gardener. “Sir,” she said, “if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him.”“Mary!” Jesus said.She turned to him and cried out, “Rabboni!” (which is Hebrew for “Teacher”)


“Don’t cling to me,” Jesus said, “for I haven’t yet ascended to the Father. But go find my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene found the disciples and told them, “I have seen the Lord!” Then she gave them his message.
This Easter, as I reflect back, I echo Mary’s words “I have seen the Lord!”. I rejoice with wild hope in the mighty ressurection of Jesus. Truly He is the hope of the world! It means that when I have to try to explain death to Ellie I will do it with tears of joy. Yes, death is hard, yet beyond lies such victory!

Even yesterday as she was eating dinner we were having a conversation about the fact that mama has a mama who lives with Jesus. (We’ve been talking a lot about Jesus… that’s a whole other post) and she looked at me with her big brown eyes and asked “Are they coming?”… my throat tightened and quick tears came but my resounding response was “Yes!”.

Someday my precious girl. Because of the sacrifice of Jesus and His crushing of death you will get to meet your Grandma. Because of Him you can live a life in freedom and joy. Because of Him you are loved more then you can imagine. It makes Mama’s heart so full of joy.



My gifts.

I had Judah in Ellie’s highchair today while I sat at the table working. He played with his toys, crashing them around. I happened to glance up and noticed his toes. Oh these toes. I’m mesmerized by them. I’m also a little amazed at the cankles leading into the feet leading into the toes. Sweet chubby baby feet. I can’t help but wonder where they will go, what roads they will travel. I hold this precious baby boy close and breathe prayers that he will deeply know Jesus. That he will live out the truth that he is mightily loved and that he will choose to mightily love in return. I pray that he will be a warrior in God’s Kingdom. 
Judah Ray
I came around the corner yesterday and this was my view.  She was watching her tub fill up and adding her toys. She’s been telling us lately that she is a princess. We whole heartedly agree and when she says those words I echo them in a prayer that she will know her true worth and value. That she will be a lover of truth, and that Jesus will be her unending pursuit.
These are my children. Gifts from my Jesus that I treasure and cherish. 
Ellie Sue
They are teaching me about how loved and treasured we are by God. I get echoes of His heart as my heart dreams over my children and longs for their good. He whispers of His goodness to me.
“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. 
He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
Zephaniah 3:17



Mom’s Oatmeal Bread

One of my favorite things about my childhood is that my Mom made bread every week. There was nothing like coming home from school to a house filled with the warm homey smell of fresh bread. Mom would cut it in thick slices and top it with butter. It spoke of comfort and security to me. She even had a little loaf pan that she would let me bake a mini loaf in as a special treat.

I have funny memories of the weekly bread ritual such as running to the store with mom while the bread was rising and coming home to dough overflowing onto the counter. Mom would laugh and gather it all up and quickly make it into loaves.

When I came home as a 23 year old to take care of her while she was battling cancer she taught me how to make bread myself. As she taught me how to form the dough into loaves we laughed and laughed as she tried to put to words something that she had done expertly for decades. My loaves were lumpy and lopsided and hers were perfect.

After Mom passed away I continued to make bread while I was at home with my Dad and Ben for the following year. It was a piece of her that I could hold onto somehow and fill our home with the memory of her labor of love. Years passed and life filled with a full time job, ministry, marriage, a baby, a move to Southern California, a house, another baby.

Last year I started making bread again. My trusty Kitchen Aid growled and rumbled through the kneading process but would get so hot that every time I made bread I worried it would die. I began praying for a Bosch. A Bosch is the coolest bread mixer around town. It effortlessly kneads a 6 loaf batch of bread. When December rolled around I opened a big box and tears of joy rolled down my face. A shiny Bosch! I have been making bread ever since. Sometimes Ellie helps. I love it. I love letting Mom’s bread making legacy live on.

If you have shied away making bread in the past because it seemed overwhelming and complicated let me encourage you to try it. You don’t have to have a fancy mixer or a bread maker. You can knead by hand or if you have kids old enough let them knead it. It is such a fun experience for kids and truly does fill your house with the smell of homey goodness!



Mom’s Oatmeal Bread

6 Cups boiling water
2 Cups Oats
2 Tbsp Yeast
1 1/2 Cups Honey
2 Eggs
1/2 Cup Oil
1 Tbsp Salt (heaping)
15-16 Cups Flour (I do half white, half whole wheat)

Yields 6 loaves

Please note. I usually make 3 loaves which is a simple half of this recipe. I also am by no means a bread expert and am learning as I go. The following is just how I make bread currently and its working for me.

This is the Bosch-ola. I love her.
I start by getting the boiling water and oats soaking. When the temperature cools to warm but not hot (comfortable for the finger to touch) I add the honey and the yeast.
Honey is what activates the yeast and you will start to notice bubbles forming as the yeast does its thing. Then I add the eggs, olive oil and salt, switch to a dough hook and start adding flour.

I know have added enough flour when the dough cleans the sides of bowl. I like my dough on the sticky side (it seems to make for a moister loaf) so I stop adding flour usually around cup 15.

Then I set my Bosch for 10 minutes and let it knead away. 

Once kneaded I dump the dough out on the counter and get to work making loaves.
Once I have my loaves shaped and into pans (that have been oiled) I put them in an oven that I pre-heated to the lowest temp possible and then turned off. I let them rise for 20-40 minutes in there.
Then I take my risen loaves out of the oven and preheat the oven to 350 and cook those babies for 30 minutes.
 Also, you probably noticed that I only let my bread rise once. Typically after you add all the flour, and knead for while, you let your dough rise before punching it down and making it into loaves. I started skipping this step after I got my Bosch. The Bosch kneads the bread so well you don’t have to apparently? I’m a fan of that! It stream lines the process and makes my bread project last a few hours instead of all day. We found our Bosch on craigslist and I have heard stories of people getting them for super cheap at garage sales.