Troy and i have miscarried two babies. We have named both of them – though we never knew the gender of either we felt they were both boys and named them accordingly. Miscarriage is such an odd thing because it brings such a sense of loss and grief for a person you have never met. I know to some it must seem weird and overly dramatic to grieve this kind of loss. Never the less, to those who have experienced it you can’t deny it’s reality or pain. We lost baby William almost a month ago. Life has returned to it’s normal routine and my body feels normal again. One morning a few days ago I was folding laundry and praying and found my self talking to the Lord about our baby. As I spoke this grief rose up in me so large I felt like I couldn’t hold it. I prayed and I cried. I cried for the loss of a precious life, for precious toes that were never fully formed. For eyes that I won’t get to look into until glory. For a baby I won’t hold until Heaven. I miss my baby. I miss this child who was real – who existed – who had a destiny. I rejoice that he lives with Jesus. I smile to think of my Mom with her arms full of my babies. It brings a sweet balm of comfort to know that these lives are precious to my Jesus. A few days after our miscarriage I was out walking and I felt like the Lord was speaking to me about how precious this baby was to Him. Though He is mighty God of the universe He loves and cherishes the unborn life… Thank You my Jesus! Thank You that death was never part of Your plan for us. Thank You that Heaven holds no pain or hurt or loss. You are my hope.
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